


Hello and Goodbye

by MeredithBrody



Series: The Romulan War [2]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 10:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serena starts asking about her grandfathers, leading to an awkward couple of days for Jon and Erika.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello and Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This was a silly middle of the night thing that just kept growing. Sorry for all the angst!

Every Friday night recently seemed to bring another question from Serena, probably because she’d just started at pre-school, and she was beginning to realise that not everything in her life was as normal as some of the others in her class. So Erika was sat on the sofa with Jon, pretending to pay attention to the two of them rambling about their days and thinking through her next few days plans. She had a guest lecture to give on the importance of intra-ship communication and she wasn’t sure what she was going to say. She was mentally preparing her opening discussion until she heard the grunt and accompanying squeal that told her Serena had jumped into Jon’s lap without warning.

“Daddy?” Serena said, and it was obvious this conversation wasn’t open to mommy yet, so Erika kept looking at the news station, but she was listening to the excited chirping of her daughter and wondering what it was this weekend.

“Yeah Bunny?” Jon asked back, managing to choke the question out while still catching his breath. Erika had to refrain from chuckling at him, feeling glad that she hadn’t been subjected to the same brutal treatment by Rena.

“Why don’t I have grandpa’s like some of the other kids in my school?” Serena asked innocently, and Erika turned to catch Jon’s eye. Her own look of mild surprise seemed to be given back to her, and all she could think of to do in way of encouragement was a shrug.

“You did, Bun. But they died.” Jon said quietly, and Erika shifted slightly so she could take hold of Jon’s hand. This was not a conversation either of them had been expecting for a while yet. It didn’t seem that it occurred to Serena that it might be a sad topic.

“When did they die?” She continued, making things harder for them both.

“Many years ago.” It had been 25 years for her, and more than 35 years for Jon, but it seemed they were both pained by their fathers’ deaths even to this day.

“Were you little?” Serena asked sadly, and she slid off Jon’s knee to settle between the two of them. Erika kept hold of Jon’s hand behind Serena’s back,

“I was, mommy wasn’t. Mommy was big.”

“Does that mean you’ll die when I’m little too daddy?”

“I hope not.” She muttered then smiled a little at Jon. They’d spoken about that possibility many years ago when they’d first met, and that had been the beginning of that private routine between the two of them. It had been years since they done it, but she remembered, and it brought a little smile to Jon’s face too.

“No, I won’t Bunny, ignore mommy she’s being silly.” He smiled again and jokingly narrowed his eyes at Erika, and all she felt she needed to do in return was stick her tongue out. Bring something lighter to this conversation.

Serena though didn’t seem to have noticed that her mother had said anything, and Erika just grinned at being ignored, and was glad that the bulk of this conversation was going Jon’s way. “Did your daddy know what he wanted you to be when you grew up?”

“He did, he wanted me to be an explorer, and I got to do that.” Jon smiled a little sadly at that, and Erika remembered why, and exactly how some of that pressure had led to things getting out of hand for him, but she also knew that he had dealt with that now, but it was why he didn’t really tell Serena that she should be something when she grew up.

Serena seemed to sit and think about that for a few minutes and then turned round a little and fixed Erika with a serious look. “What about you mom?”

She shrugged a little, she was sure he had wanted something for her, but what it was she didn’t know. He’d never told her, and never pushed her one way or another. He’d been so proud to see her get into Starfleet, and she was still just proud that he had liked Jon the one time the two of them met. “My daddy just wanted me to be happy, and he really liked your daddy.” She smiled, squeezing Jon’s hand again as Serena turned back to her father.

“You met mommy’s daddy?” She asked Jon a little accusatory, causing Jon to burst out laughing again.

“I did, he was sick though.” He admitted, but Erika remembered that her dad may have been sick, but he wasn’t mentally impaired, and he’d loved that Jon had demanded he take her home, and that he’d tried to convince her to stay with her family.

“Can I meet him?” Serena asked and looked between her parents. Meaning Erika had to think of a child-friendly way to explain cremation and scattering to her. Maybe one day they’d visit where they’d scattered the ashes, but despite the years she still wasn’t ready.

“My dad was cremated, Bunny, turned into ashes so that we could let him fly.” She eventually settled on, thinking it was a sweet enough way of explaining it.

“That sounds nice. Can I meet your daddy then?” Serena turned back and asked Jon.

“We could do it you know. Take her up there.” She nudged, talking over Serena’s head but keenly aware that she was watching the conversation with some interest.

“Really?” Jon asked, clearly not following the same logic she was.

“We’ll visit your mom at the same time, tell her the news.” She pointed out, thinking that a visit in a week or two might have been a good idea anyway. They did have news to share.

Jon looked at her for a moment then nodded and sat forward. “OK. Bunny we’ll take you to where my daddy is now. I’ll contact command for us, tell them we’re on leave for the weekend. Go get mommy to help you pack a bag, Bunny.” Jon said, and Erika just glared at him for a second before she was tugged away from the sofa by Serena, suddenly excited about going on a trip.

Erika hadn’t expected them to leave then and there. Both she and Jon always had bags packed, in case they were needed on site at an emergency, but they rarely needed to pack anything for Serena, since she never went with them on those missions. She listened to her daughter singing to herself as Erika packed enough clothes for 3 nights away with their hyperactive little one. She was too old for this she felt sometimes, and she was about to do it all again with another baby on the way.

It was lucky that Serena fell asleep almost the minute they got on the shuttle, which gave Erika a few minutes alone with her husband. A very rare occurrence these days, since Serena had decided that everything should be a family event.

"Are you ready for this?" She asked quietly as she stood beside him at one of the forward benches, looking over her shoulder to check that Serena was still asleep.

"I guess it was always coming, and maybe she has a point. Neither of us talk about our fathers that often, and there is maybe no reason we don't." He sighed, leaning his head against her stomach. She thought about his point for a second, wondering why she didn’t speak about her father.

"It hurts for me, I still miss him Jon, and I know it's the same for you." She ran her hand through his hair and smiled. It had been harder than she would have liked to admit to try and speak to Serena about what had happened and their fathers. Maybe she needed to be a little more open about it for her daughter, and try to get through the pain.

"We'll figure out how to talk about it, Rike." He muttered quietly then pulled her down to join him on the seat, settling his hand on her stomach. They’d only known about their second baby a few weeks, and it was still settling in a little that they’d be doing all of this again in a few years.

"I love you, have I mentioned that recently?" She smiled as he pulled her closer to him and kissed the tip of her nose. She was so rarely the first one to instigate that kind of comment, even at the top of the war when they had been worried about whether they'd ever see each other again. It just wasn't her. Jon kept grinning at her then kissed her deeply, she assumed that was him returning her sentiment.

She'd obviously fallen asleep in the shuttle, as the next time she woke up she was asleep in the guest room at Jon's mother's house. She looked around as she woke up and could hear Serena running around with her grandma. It wasn't until she sat up she spotted Jon by the window.

"Thinking about today?" She asked unnecessarily, but it would tell him that she'd woken up, and that she knew what was going on in his mind. She'd never needed him to tell her that in words. She knew, she always knew.

"You're awake." Jon commented, looking back over his shoulder at her voice.

"Haven't slept that well in a while. Come here?" She said, lifting the cover high enough to indicate he should come and lay down again with her. He kissed her hard as he got on the bed then settled bck against the headboard, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and slipping down so they were on the same level.

"I'm a little worried about taking her there." He admitted once he was settled, and Erika hadn't really needed him to say it. She knew he was, and that spoke volumes about how little they'd actually thought about having to do this. For some reason it never crossed her mind.

"We'll deal with it. Whatever happens." She smiled and leant against him a little more, threading her fingers through his. They both just laid there silently for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet time they had right now. Erika ended up bursting out laughing as they heard Serena's voice carrying as she shouted something at her grandma.

"I wish she hadn't reached the age where she's asking about this. She's growing up too quickly." Jon complained about that, kissing her temple as he did. She agreed that Serena was growing up too quickly, but she couldn't stay their little girl forever. Even though they both wanted that, really.

"I agree with you there. Come on Jonathan, we should get it over with, I know you're dreading it." She smiled and squeezed him, trying to pass some of her calm onto him. She knew it probably wasn't going to work, but she'd try as best she could, it was one of the few things she could do in this situation.

It took a couple of hours to convince Serena that it was time to go out, now she'd started playing it seemed she'd forgotten why they were here. Not surprising considering she was four. But when they finally got going things went quickly, and before she knew it they were stood a few feet away.

“Go on Bunny.” Erika smiled, putting her daughter down and taking a step back so that she would try to jump back. Serena looked back to her parents then nodded, seeming to make the decision that she would be a big girl if she did this for herself.

She kept making her way closer slowly, and Erika knew that despite who her parents were, Serena wasn’t much of an explorer. “Do you think this is a good idea?” Jon whispered in her ear a moment later, quietly enough that hopefully Serena wouldn’t hear it.

Erika just shook her head and tapped his arm gently. It wasn’t that she wasn’t worried about Serena, she worried all day every day. But their little girl was getting big, and they both needed to accept that. “Jon, she’s old enough to ask, she’s old enough to know.”

“I’m just worried.” Jon muttered, stepping a little bit closer to her as he did. She reached out momentarily and squeezed his hand. Knowing that their little one would be perfectly fine.

“She’s fine, look at her.” Erika nodded in her direction. Feeling Jon’s arm slide around her waist as they watched. Serena took a few more tentative steps until she reached the plot they’d marked for her, and then seemed to look around for a moment.

“Hi grandpa.” Serena said in a carrying whisper to the headstone then gave it a kiss. Erika shook her head gently then tightened the arm she had around Jon as he sobbed into her shoulder. She understood how important a moment this was for him, and how Serena’s reactions had reminded him of how worried he still was that the same disease that stole his father from him could begin affecting him. She just held onto him and listened to Serena as she sat on the grass on the grave and chatted animatedly to the headstone as if it was talking back, and even though it had been painful for them to have this conversation, she was proud of her little family.


End file.
